Joke of the Day – Great to Be a Guy

Reasons it’s great to be a guy:

- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

- Movie nudity is virtually always female.

- A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

- You don’t have to monitor your friends’ sex lives.

- Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

- You can open all your own jars.

- Old friends don’t give a crap whether you’ve lost or gained weight.

- Dry cleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind.

- When clicking through the channels, you don’t have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.

- All your orgasms are real.

- You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

- You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

- Your last name stays put.

- You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

- Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

- Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

- Wedding plans take care of themselves.

- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

- You don’t have to shave below your neck.

- None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

- You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

- If you’re 34 and single, nobody even notices.

- You can write your name in the snow.

- Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

- Chocolate is just another snack.

- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.

- Flowers fix everything.

- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

- Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

- You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

- Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.

- You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

- You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

- You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking “He must be mad at me”.

- The world is your urinal.

- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

- One mood, all the time

- You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one’s just too skeevy.

- You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you’re wearing.

- Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

- You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

- Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.

- You don’t care if someone’s talking about you behind you back.

- With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth’s population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

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