Joke of the Day – Catholic School
description

Joke of the Day – Catholic School

A ten year old public school boy was finding fifth grade math to be the challenge of his life. Science? A piece of cake. Geography? No big deal. Spelling? Ha! Give me a break … but MATH? It was devastating! To not only him, but his mom and dad, too! And not that they weren’t doing everything and anything to help their son … Private tutors, peer assistance, CD-Roms, Textbooks, even HYPNOSIS! Nothing worked.

Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private school. Not just ANY private school, but a Catholic school. Nuns. Weekly mass.

Well, the first day of school finally arrived, and dressed in his salt-and-pepper cords and white wool dress shirt and blue cardigan sweater, the youngster ventured out into the great unknown. His mother and father were convinced they were doing the right thing.

They were both there waiting for their son when he returned home. And when he walked in with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face, they hoped they had made the right choice. He walked right past them and went straight to his room – and quietly closed the door.

For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room – with mat books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He only emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, he went straight back to his room, closed the door, and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime. This pattern continued ceaselessly until it was time for the first quarter report card.

After school, the boy walked into the home with his report card – unopened – in his hand. Without a word, he dropped the envelope on the family dinner table and went straight to his room. His parents were petrified. What lay inside the envelope? Success? Failure? DOOM?!?

Patiently, cautiously the mother opened the letter, and to her amazement, she saw a bright red “A” under the subject, MATH. Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son’s room, thrilled at the remarkable progress of their young son!

“Was it the nuns that did it?”, the father asked. The boy only shook his head and said, “No.”

“Was it the one-on-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?”, asked the mother.

Again, the boy shrugged, “No.”

“The textbooks? The teacher? The curriculum?”, asked the father.

“Nope,” said the son. “It was all very clear to me from the very first day of school, that these folks in Catholic school meant business!”

“How so?”, asked his mom.

“When I walked into the lobby, the first thing I saw was that guy they’d nailed to the plus sign!”

……………..

Get rid of cellulite ! Buy Cellulite Reduction today!

Joke of the Day – Corporate Lingo
description

Joke of the Day – Corporate Lingo

“COMPETITIVE SALARY”
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

“JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM”
We have no time to train you.

“CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE”
We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

“MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED”
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

“SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED”
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

“DUTIES WILL VARY”
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

“MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL”
We have no quality control.

“CAREER-MINDED”
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

“APPLY IN PERSON”
If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position has been filled.

“NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE”
We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

“SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE”
You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.

“PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST”
You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

“REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS”
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

“GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS”
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

……………..

Get rid of Acne ! Buy Acne Control today!

Joke of the Day – Breast Milk
description

Joke of the Day – Breast Milk

The student – not necessarily a well-prepared student – sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: “Give four advantages of breast milk.” What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

No need to boil.
Cats can’t steal it.
Available whenever necessary.
Um. So far so good – maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer. Again, what to write? Once more he sighed. He frowned. He scowled. Then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly he scribbled his definitive answer:
4. Available in attractive containers.

……………..

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com