A bar in downtown providence had seen a lot of DUI’s lately. Therefore a cop decided to scope it out during closing time. Right around when it was time to close the cop sees a guy come out of the bar stumbling left, then right. He tripped over the curb, dropped his keys and crawled [...]
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall with row after row of clocks behind him. The man asked St Peter, “What are all those clocks for?” St Peter answered, “Those are lie-clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie [...]
Three women were talking about their love lives. The first said, “My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated.” The second said, “Mine is like a porsche; fast and powerful.” The third said, “Mine is like an old Chevy. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while it’s still going.” [...]
The cops raided a brothel in Kings Cross. In one of the booths they found an Asian bloke bonking like crazy. “What’s your name?” “My name is Ting” In the next room they found another Asian bloke sitting quietly in a shabby armchair. “And what’s your name?” “My name is Ting” “Oh yeah”, said the [...]
An American tourist pulls over the Hertz car in the middle of nowhere for a pee. Suddenly a bloke jumps out from behind a tree, pointing a shotgun at him. “Pull yourself off”, he orders. “What?” “Masturbate. Right now!” Nervously, the tourist obliges. “Now, do it again”. “I can’t do it again” “DO it again!” [...]