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3 guys find a lamp

3 guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. It booms “You have finally freed me after all these years, so I’ll grant each one of you 3 wishes.” The first guy immediately blurts out “I want a billion […]

Happy President’s Day!

I was talking to a friend’s little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, ‘If you were to be the President, what’s the first thing you would do?’ She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the […]

Bowling balls

An old man boards a bus with a bowling balls in each of his front pockets. He sits down next to a beautiful young blonde lady, and she can’t help but glance quizzically at the man and his bulging pockets. It’s an uneasy few minutes before, finally, the little old man can take no more. […]

Young couple

A young couple had just finished having fantastic sex. Afterwards, the young woman looked in the box of condoms and saw that there were only six left out of the original twelve. She asked her boyfriend, “What happened to the five other condoms?” He rather nervously and shiftily replied, “Errrmm, I masturbated with them.” The […]