Jokes Blogger http://www.jokesblogger.com Joke of the Day Thu, 17 May 2012 14:47:37 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 Joke of the Day: Comments from Dr’s Patients http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/17/joke-of-the-day-comments-from-drs-patients/ http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/17/joke-of-the-day-comments-from-drs-patients/#comments Thu, 17 May 2012 14:47:37 +0000 RJ http://www.jokesblogger.com/?p=3142 A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. “Take it easy, Doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before.”

2. “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”

3. “Can you hear me NOW?”

4. “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”

5. “You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.”

6. “Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”

7. “You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey….”

8. “Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”

9. “If your hand doesn’t fit, you must acquit!”

10. “Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”

11. “Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?”

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]]> http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/17/joke-of-the-day-comments-from-drs-patients/feed/ 0 Joke of the Day: Disabled swimming contest http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/16/joke-of-the-day-disabled-swimming-contest/ http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/16/joke-of-the-day-disabled-swimming-contest/#comments Wed, 16 May 2012 13:58:34 +0000 RJ http://www.jokesblogger.com/?p=3140 Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and “splash” they’re all in the pool

The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head of course sank straight to the bottom.

Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool,so he decides he had better dive down to rescue him.

He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering.

Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts: “Three years I’ve spent learning to swim with my fucking ears, then two minutes before the whistle, some asshole puts a swimming cap on me!”

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]]> http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/16/joke-of-the-day-disabled-swimming-contest/feed/ 0 Joke of the Day: Bubba And Billy Bob http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/15/joke-of-the-day-bubba-and-billy-bob-2/ http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/15/joke-of-the-day-bubba-and-billy-bob-2/#comments Tue, 15 May 2012 14:54:15 +0000 RJ http://www.jokesblogger.com/?p=3138 Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob “I’m gonna get me some of that”!

Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep’s back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep.

He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says “Do you want some of this”? Billy Bob replies “yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence”.

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]]> http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/15/joke-of-the-day-bubba-and-billy-bob-2/feed/ 0 Joke of the Day: Camel Questions http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/14/joke-of-the-day-camel-questions-2/ http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/14/joke-of-the-day-camel-questions-2/#comments Mon, 14 May 2012 14:49:57 +0000 RJ http://www.jokesblogger.com/?p=3136 A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?”

The mother replies, “Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand”.

“OK” said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, “Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?”

“They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert”, “Thanks Mom” replies the son.

After a short while, the son returns and asks, “Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??”

The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, “They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without eating for long periods.”

“That’s great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store fat.

But Mom”, “Yes son?”

“Why the heck are we in the Philadelphia Zoo?”

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]]> http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/14/joke-of-the-day-camel-questions-2/feed/ 0 Joke of the Day: blonde stewardess http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/11/joke-of-the-day-blonde-stewardess-3/ http://www.jokesblogger.com/2012/05/11/joke-of-the-day-blonde-stewardess-3/#comments Fri, 11 May 2012 15:08:09 +0000 RJ http://www.jokesblogger.com/?p=3132 An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her room. “You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”

The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

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