Joke of the Day – why some kids get in trouble in school
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Joke of the Day – why some kids get in trouble in school

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS : Maria!

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank? FRANK : Because of the sign. TEACHER : What sign? FRANK : The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!

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TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?” GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L” TEACHER : No, that’s wrong GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

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TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD : H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER : What are you talking about? DONALD : Yesterday you said it’s H to O!

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TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. WINNIE : Me!

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TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty? GOSS : Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with “I.” MILLIE : I is… TEACHER : No, Millie….. Always say, “I am.” MILLIE : All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

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TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”

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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.

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TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON : No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, teacher, it’s the same dog!;

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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD : A teacher.

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Joke of the Day – Leopard vs. Poodle
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Joke of the Day – Leopard vs. Poodle

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.

The poodle thinks, “Oh, oh!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?”

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!”, says the leopard, “That was close! That poodle nearly had me!”

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!”

Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?”, but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear.

“Where’s that damn monkey?” the poodle says, “I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”

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