A man noticed his credit card has been stolen – but he never reported it. The thief was still spending considerably less than his wife.“

My wife has this really weird fetish where she likes to dress up as herself and act like a total bitch.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose; last night she used me to time an egg. ~Rodney Dangerfield

My wife told me today that I’m gonna become a father for the very first time; the bad news is – we already have two kids. ~Brian Kiley

My son wanted to know what it’s like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.

Wife to her husband while at it: “Please say dirty things to me!”, Husband: “Bath, Kitchen, Living room…”

I tried to re-marry my ex-wife. But she figured out I was only after my money.

Honey, do you think I gained weight?….No, I think the living room got smaller.

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Role Play Dating at RolePlayMatch.com is very specific fetishes like Santa, lift and carry or human furniture.