Concerning why love happens between two people:
“One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too.” Andrew, age 6

“No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell… That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” Mae, age 9

“I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.” Manual, age 8

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A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.
As you shall make your bed so shall you……………mess it up.
Better be safe than………………………punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the ……………………………..bug is close.
It’s always darkest before……………..daylight savings time.
You can lead a horse to water but……………………….how?
Don’t bite the hand that………………………..looks dirty.
A miss is as good as a………………………………….Mr.
You can’t teach an old dog new…………………………math.
If you lie down with the dogs, you’ll…….stink in the morning.
The pen is mightier than the…………………………..pigs.
An idle mind is……………………….the best way to relax.
Where there’s smoke, there’s………………………pollution.
Happy the bride who……………………gets all the presents.
A penny saved is………………………………….not much.
Two’s company, three’s……………………….the musketeers.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and….you have to blow your nose.
Children should be seen and not…………..spanked or grounded.
When the blind leadeth the blind…………..get out of the way.

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It was the first day of school… The kindergartners were now first graders. The teacher made an announcement to the class. “Now that you are in the first grade, we will need to work on using grown-up words and not using baby words anymore. ”
“Let’s tell everyone what we did over the summer..”
Well, the first little girl got up and said that she went to see her “nana” over the vacation.
The teacher said “that’s good! But, we need to start saying grandma like a grown-up, not nana that’s a baby word.”
The next little boy got up and said with a big smile that he went for a long ride on a “choo-choo”.
The teacher said “I bet that was exciting! But, we need to start saying train like a grown-up, not choo-choo, that’s a baby word.”
Well, the last little boy got up to tell what he had done. He said that he read a book. The teacher said “that’s wonderful! Which book did you read?”
The little boy stood up nice and tall, puffed out his chest and in his most adult voice he could muster, he said “Winnie the Shit”

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A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of three, nine or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
“Well”, he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s THE night. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then we’re going out. Once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time, so you’d better give me the 12-pack.”
The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, “You never told me that you were such a religious person.”
He leans over to her and says, “You never told me that your father is a pharmacist!”

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