Dugly was getting robbed in the desert

Dugly was getting robbed in the desert. He gave the robber his money and asked the robber to shoot a few bullets in his hat to make it believable to his wife that he was robbed.

He then asked, “Shoot a few bullets in the coat while you’re at it, I want to look like I fought you and not look like a coward”.

After the robber shot the coat, he said, “shoot a few holes-“.

“Please, no more holes, I’m out of bullets”.

“That’s what I wanted to hear. now give me back the wallet and some more money for the hat and coat you destroyed before I beat your ass down”.

“””””

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Dugly was getting robbed in the desert

Dugly was getting robbed in the desert. He gave the robber his money and asked the robber to shoot a few bullets in his hat to make it believable to his wife that he was robbed.

He then asked, “Shoot a few bullets in the coat while you’re at it, I want to look like I fought you and not look like a coward”.

After the robber shot the coat, he said, “shoot a few holes-“.

“Please, no more holes, I’m out of bullets”.

“That’s what I wanted to hear. now give me back the wallet and some more money for the hat and coat you destroyed before I beat your ass down”.

“””””

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Girl I’ve been dating invited me over to her house

Dad, the girl I’ve been dating invited me over to her house.

“Oh that is great, Billy. But you should be careful, you are young and an STD or unwanted pregnancy is going to be devastating. Please, remember to wear a condom if the situation arises… Actually, no. I don’t trust you, son. Put it on right now, because at the heat of the moment you will forget.”

And so Billy did. And he head over to the girl’s place. After a chat and some drinks, things got saucy.
” Wait” she said, “In order to continue, you have to pass a test.” She then removed her shirt, proclaiming “My breasts! Pure and untouched. Only the sun on beach days had ever had a feel of them”

She then removed her skirt. “My thighs. Pure and touched by no one. Only the wind on breezy days has ever felt their softness.”

Finally, she removed her panties. “And last, my vagina, pure and untouched. No one has ever felt its warmth, nor the wind nor the sun. So tell me, Billy, should I let you feel my body? Are you capable to match my purity?”

“Sure”, he claims as he pulls downs his pants, “I am so pure and untouched, my willy is still in the the wrapper”

“””””

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Woman who is constantly embarrassed

A woman who is constantly embarrassed by her husband falling asleep in church goes to the priest to ask for help.

The priest says, “Look love, if he falls asleep again, poke him with this hat pin. I’ll nod to you as a signal to poke him.”. The woman agrees to the plan.

So Sunday rolls around and sure enough, good old Mr. Jones nods off again. The priest notices and asks, “Who is our savior?” then nods to Mrs. Jones. She pokes her husband, and he wakes up and shouts, “Jesus Christ!”.
The priest, pretending to be impressed, says, “Very good!”.

A full three minutes later, Mr. Jones is asleep again. The priest again notices, and asks, “What is the name of Jesus’ father?” before nodding at Mrs. Jones again. She pokes her husband, who screams, “GOD!” at the top of his lungs.

The priest again congratulates Mr. Jones on his alertness and continues with the sermon. However, during the sermon, he begins nodding enthusiastically, which Mrs. Jones mistakes for a poking signal.

The priest then says, “And what did Eve say to Adam after she gave him his 99th child?” the priest nods. The mistaken Mrs. Jones pokes her husband, and he shouts, “If you poke that fucking thing into me one more time, I’ll snap it in half and shove it up your ass!”.

“””””

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