Joke of the Day – New Words for 2008
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Joke of the Day – New Words for 2008

1. BLAMESTORMING
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO
The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

9. STRESS PUPPY
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT
Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404
Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNOSECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS
Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING
Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.

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Joke of the Day – Chinese Proverbs
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Joke of the Day – Chinese Proverbs

1. Virginity like bubble, one prick – all gone.

2. Man who run in front of car get tired.

3. Man who run behind car get exhausted.

4. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

5. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

6. Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

7. Man with one chopstick go hungry.

8. Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

9. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

10. Baseball is wrong; man with four balls cannot walk.

11. Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.

12. War does not determine who is right; war determine who is left.

13. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

14. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

15. It take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it.

16. Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

17. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

18. Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

19. Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.

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Joke of the Day – Little Red Riding Hood
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Joke of the Day – Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping thru the forest road when she sees the big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.
‘My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.’

The wolf jumps up and runs away.

Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush.
‘My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf.’

Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.

About 1/4 mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
‘My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf.’

With that the wolf jumps up and screams, ‘Will you knock it off, I’m trying to poop!’

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Joke of the Day – Painful Breakup
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Joke of the Day – Painful Breakup

A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back.

So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women that he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girlfriend with the following note:

“I don’t remember which one you are. Please remove your pictures and send the rest back.”

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