Witches at Halloween
description

Witches at Halloween

First Witch: “What are you doing?

Second Witch: “I am making a special Halloween potion that requires eye of a werewolf, gizzard of a ghoul, liver of a vampire, horn from a unicorn, and heart of a lawyer.

So far, I have everything I need except the heart of a lawyer.”

First Witch: “Good luck!”

——-

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Genie wishes
description

Genie wishes

A man was walking on the beach, angry because his boss said he’d have to work overtime with no pay tomorrow. He came across an old lamp, and he kicked it as far as he could. A genie popped out of the lamp when it landed. “Hello, I am Brack, the genie. I will grant your 3 wishes, but since you kicked me, your boss will receive twice of what you get.”

The man says, “first, I would like 100 trillion dollars”

The genie responds, “then your boss will become so rich he can buy nations! But whatever you wish.” And just like that, the man was rich.

“Next, I would like to make 100 million dollars an hour.” The man said.

“Then your boss would make 200 million an hour! You must really love your boss!” The genie responded

“Well, maybe my last wish will deter you.”

“What is it?”

“I’d like to donate one of my kidneys”

——-

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Job Interview
description

Job Interview

A guy goes into the US postal service to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”

He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.”

“OK, have you ever been in the military service?”

“Yes,” he says, “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.”

The interviewer says, “that will give you 5 extra points toward employment.” Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”

The guy says, “yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles.”

The interviewer grimaces and then says, “disabled in your country’s service! Well that qualifies for extra bonus points. Okay.

Looking at the regulations you have got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 AM every day.”

The guy is puzzled and asks, “if the work hours are from 8:00AM to 4:00 PM , why don’t you want me here until 10:00 AM ?”

“This is a government job , ” the interviewer says. “For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.”

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How much milk
description

How much milk

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?

Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?

Interviewer: Brown one.

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer: And the black one?

Farmer: A couple of litres per day.

Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?

Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?

Interviewer: Black.

Farmer: It eats grass.

Interviewer: And the other one?

Farmer: Grass.

Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!

Farmer: Because the black one’s mine.

Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?

Farmer: It’s also mine

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