Forgive me father, for I have sinned
description

Forgive me father, for I have sinned

Girl: “Forgive me father for I have sinned.”

Priest: “What have you done my child?”

Girl: “I called a man a son of a bitch.”

Priest: “Why did you call him a son of a bitch?”

Girl: “Because he touched my hand.”

Priest: “Like this?” (as he touches her hand)

Girl: “Yes father.”

Priest: “That’s no reason to call a man a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “Then he touched my breast.”

Priest: “Like this?” (as he touched her breast)

Girl: “Yes father.”

Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “Then he took off my clothes, father.”

Priest: “Like this?” (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: “Yes father.”

Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where.”

Priest: “Like this?” (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: “YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!”

Priest: (after a few minutes): “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “But father he had AIDS!”

Priest: “THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!”

“““““

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Husband and Wife in Moscow Russia
description

Husband and Wife in Moscow Russia

A woman is walking hand-in-hand with her husband on Christmas Eve In Moscow Russia.

They’re having a nice night when, suddenly, they start to feel a bit of precipitation on their faces..
The woman looks at her husband and says, “Look, dear, it’s raining.”

Her husband tells her, “No, dear, it’s snowing.” Well, this argument goes back and forth for a few minutes until they see the local Communist officer, Comrade Rudolph, walk past.

The husband says to his wife, “Look, dear, there’s Comrade Rudolph, our local Communist officer. He always knows the truth. We”l ask him!” With that, the husband shouts, “Comrade Rudolph, is it raining or is it snowing?”

Comrade Rudolph looks to the sky and says, “Raining,” the continues on.

The wife looks at her husband and says,

“See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

“““““

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Lie Detecting Robot
description

Lie Detecting Robot

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, “I did some schoolwork.” The robot slaps the son.

The son says, “Ok, Ok. I was at a friend’s house watching movies.”

Dad asks, “What movie did you watch?” Son says, “Toy Story.”

The robot slaps the son. Son says, “Ok, Ok, we were watching porn.”

Dad says, “What?” At your age I didn’t even know what porn was.” The robot slaps the father.

Mom laughs and says, “Well, he certainly is your son.” The robot slaps the mother.

“““““

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Teacher walked to the blackboard and noticed
description

Teacher walked to the blackboard and noticed

On Monday morning, the teacher walked to the blackboard and noticed someone had written the word “penis” in tiny letters. She turned around, but couldn’t find the guilty face. She quickly erased it and began her class.

Tuesday, she was again greeted with “penis” on the blackboard, written in larger letters. She looked around in vain for the culprit, and then proceeded with the day’s lesson.

Every morning for the rest of the week, “penis” was written on the board in larger and larger letters, and each time, the teacher furiously erased it. By Friday, she’d had enough.

“That’s enough,” she sputtered. “I — I can’t believe this! Monday morning, I expect an explanation for this behavior!”
On Monday morning, the teacher confidently entered the classroom and found on the board: “Don’t you know — the more you rub it, the bigger it gets?”

“““““

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