Last longer
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Last longer

The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, “What the hell, I’ll try it,”

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn’t do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.
Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.

He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, “What?”

He heard, “This is the police. What’s going on down there?” The man replied, “I’m checking out the rear axle, it’s busted.”

“Well,” the cop answered, “you might as well check your brakes too while you’re down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago.”

“””””

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7 Wives
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7 Wives

5 years old son,
After watching a story of an Emperor on TV:
“Mum, I also want 7 wives, one will cook for me, one will read for me, one will go for walk with me, one will sing for me,one can bath me….”
Mum smiled and said:
“Then night time I don’t have to accompany you to sleep”.
After some thought, son said: “Not possible, I still want to sleep with you mummy!”
Moms eyes fill up with tears of happiness:
“My sweet son!”
“Then who will sleep with your 7 wives?”
“Let them sleep with daddy!”
Dads eyes fill up with tears of happiness:
“My sweet son!”

“””””

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Visit to the Adult Store
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Visit to the Adult Store

While on a visit to the adult store, a young woman named Lisa came across a product advertised as the Magic Dildo. She brought the item to the shopkeeper to ask about it.

“Ah yes”, he said, “this one is voice activated. You just put the batteries in, and say the words ‘Magic Dildo-‘ and wherever you want it to go!”

Quite intrigued, Lisa paid for the Magic Dildo and brought it home to her small apartment.
Inserting the batteries, she felt silly holding a voice activated dildo, so as a test, she quietly stated: “Magic Dildo, the bed”.

The Magic Dildo shot up onto the air and flew across the room, landing softly on the bed with a gentle whir.
The young woman excitedly removed her clothes, got on the bed with her new toy and whispered “Magic Dildo- my pussy.”

The Magic Dildo gave a whir and slid effortlessly inside, vibrating and pulsating. Lisa moaned with pleasure as the Magic Dildo hit all the right spots.

After a few minutes of pure bliss, Lisa came with an orgasm that shook the entire bed. Toes curled and screaming in ecstasy, she felt the Magic Dildo’s whirring intensify.

Wave after wave and orgasm after orgasm left Lisa screaming and drenched with sweat and other fluids. She wanted to stop but realized she couldn’t get a grip on the Magic Dildo to pull it out.
“Magic Dildo STOP! MAGIC DILDO NO MORE!” The Magic Dildo wasn’t listening.

Lisa struggled to get somewhat dressed, and crawled back to her car. orgasming over and over again she drove as best she could back to the sex shop for help, but her erratic driving caught the attention of a traffic cop, who pulled her over.

“Please!” She screamed before the officer could even say a word, “I am not drunk! I have a Magic Dildo, I can’t get it out!”

The policeman laughed, “Magic Dildo- My Ass”

“””””

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A billionaire makes an offer
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A billionaire makes an offer

A billionaire makes an offer to his employee. The boss says “You seem like a nice guy. If you marry my daughter, I’ll make you a partner, give you an expense account, a Ferrari, and a million dollar annual salary.”

The employee asks what’s wrong with her. The boss shows him a picture, and she’s hideous. The boss says, “It’s only fair to tell you, she’s not only ugly, she’s also as dumb as a brick.” The employee replies, “I don’t care what you offer me, it’s not worth it.” The boss says, “I’ll still give you all the perks but make the salary $3 million a year and buy you a penthouse condominium on Park Avenue as well.” After a bit of thought, the guy accepts the offer figuring he can put a bag over her head when they have sex.

About a year later, the employee buys an original Salvadore Dali painting and he’s about to hang it on the wall. He climbs a ladder and yells to his wife, “Bring me a hammer.” She mumbles, “Get the hammer. Get the hammer,” and she fetches the hammer. The guy says, “Get me some nails.” She mumbles, “Get the nails. Get the nails,” and she gets him some nails. The guys starts hammering a nail into the wall, hits his thumb, and screams “Fuck!” She mumbles, “Get the bag. Get the bag.”

“””””

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