Tea is more dangerous than beer

Tea is an evil substance. It is much more dangerous than beer.

I discovered this last night. I drank 15 beers up until 3 am in the pub while my wife was just at home drinking tea.

You should have seen how mad and violent she was when I got home. She threw the chair at me and kept screaming at the top of her lungs. On the other hand, I was quiet and peaceful and silently made my way to bed. But she kept cursing and shouting through the night and well into the next morning.

Please friends, if you can’t handle your tea, you should not be drinking it. Please avoid drinking tea.

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Dugly wanted to buy a Harley motorcycle

Dugly wanted to buy a Harley motorcycle. He didn’t have much luck until one day, he came across a Harley with a ‘for sale’ sign on it

The bike looked better than a new one, even though it was 10 years old. It was shiny and in great condition.
He buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

‘Well, it’s quite simple,’ says the seller, ‘whenever the bike is outside and it’s gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome as it protects it from the rain, and he hands Dugly a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents and naturally, they ride the bike there. Just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, ‘I have to tell you something about my family.’

‘When we eat dinner, we don’t talk. In fact, the FIRST person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.’
‘No problem,’ He says, and in they go.

Dugly is shocked. Right in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Dugly decides to take advantage of the situation. He leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. He reaches over and fondles her breasts. Nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table and screws her, right there in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. She’s got a great body too. Dugly grabs mom, bends her over the table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table. She has a big orgasm and Dugly sits down. His girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling and mom is beaming from ear to ear, but still … . Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain. Dugly remembers his bike so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket, but as he stands up the father immediately shouts: ‘Ok, ok, I’ll go do the fuckin’ dishes!!’

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A woman was on the way to winning

A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night.

Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer. He raced home and told his wife “Your question is ‘What are the three main parts of the male anatomy’, and the answer is ‘The head, heart and penis.’

The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgetting the answer. Her husband keeps reminding her, “The head, heart and penis.”

Come the game show she has forgotten again, and the presenter asks, “For $100,000, what are the three main parts of the male anatomy? You have ten seconds.”

“Um… the head.”

“Good. Eight seconds.”

“Um… the heart.”

“That’s right. Five seconds.”

“Oh… um… damn. My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning…”

“That’s close enough! You’ve won $100,000!”

“””””

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Three women after their cardio fitness workout

Three women after their cardio fitness workout are in a gym locker room getting changed when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.

He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. “He’s not my husband,” she says.

He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. “He’s not my husband either.”

He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.

“Wait a minute,” she says. “He’s not even a member of this club.”

“””””

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