Gandhi as a student
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Gandhi as a student

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely and always displayed prejudice and animosity towards him. Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him, as he expected…. there were always “arguments” and confrontations.

One day, Mr Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor said, “Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat.” Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, “You do not worry professor. I’ll fly away,” and he went and sat at another table.

Mr Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions. Mr Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question. “Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?”

Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “The one with the money, of course.”

Mr Peters, smiling sarcastically said, “I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don’t you think?”

Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded, “Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”

Mr Peters, by this time, was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi’s exam sheet the word “idiot” and gave it to Gandhi. Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, “Mr Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade.”

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in Paris, France
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in Paris, France

An old man is at passport control in Paris, France

He is going through his bag for his passport. The woman on passport control asks him ‘Have you visited France before?’

‘Yes’ replied the old man.

Sarcastically she responds ‘Well surely you’d should know to have your passport ready…’ to which he answers ‘I didn’t have to show it last time’

‘Impossible!!’ she bellowed.

The old man looks her straight in the eye and says ‘Last time, when I landed on D Day in 1944, I couldn’t find a fucking Frenchman to give it to’

——-

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Fisherman
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Fisherman

It is the year 2200. In a small city lived a master fisherman. This fisherman was famous throughout the world for being able to catch numerous amounts of fish in any body of water. Now, fish these days have mutated and changed quite a bit, but this fisherman was able to catch them all with little to no effort.

One day, a businessman comes up to him and asks him for a favor: “Can you catch me some of those delicious trout lurking in the Mariana Trench? Now most trout nowadays are found in freshwater, but in the year 2200, the trout have developed mechanisms to survive in extremely high water pressures as well as a saltwater environment. The fisherman nonchalantly agreed, charged the regular fee and set out on his tiny boat. He climbed into his submarine, dove down 200 km (127 freedom units), and launched his brilliantly designed fishing net. With flawless maneuvering and steering, he would have cleared out almost the entire trench if he wasn’t limited by the size of the net and the ascent speed of his submarine. At the end of the day, he gathered enough trout to feed the small city for a day.

The next week, the same businessman comes up to the fisherman and asks him for another favor: “Can you catch me some of those rare piranhas in the Nile?”. Now, piranhas nowadays are known for their sharp teeth, but in the year 2200, they’ve evolved so that their teeth are even sharper than before, capable of tearing through rock. They also became much more aggressive and will attack practically anything that falls in the water. They invaded the Nile after an accident at a zoo. The fisherman, however wasn’t fazed. He bought a ticket to Egypt with the wealth that he has acquired. He put his iron-clad boat into the river and set out his titanium-wired net. Once again, he almost cleaned out the entire river in one day, and gathered enough fish to feed the small city for two days.

One month later, the businessman comes up to the fisherman AGAIN and asks him for the biggest favor yet. “No one has been able to capture any of the polar salmon! If you get these, we’ll be set for life!”. The fisherman has never had any intention to go to the Arctic before, as he dislikes cold weather, but with his reputation and pride on the line, he sets out to capture this elusive fish. Compared to the other two, this should be the easiest, as the salmon lurks around the surface of the water and are not dangerous to handle. However, the fisherman tried and tried but was unable to catch these salmon. He tried upgrading the motor of the boat, the power output of the arm controlling the net, acquiring better bait, but none of it worked. The fish would always find someway to escape, and would never approach any bait that was set out. The fisherman never got close. Just when he was about to give up, he saw an old man fishing with an old wooden rod next to his igloo. Next to him was a sizeable amount of polar salmon. Astounded, the fisherman walked up to the man.

“How were you able to catch these salmon? I tried baiting them, but they wouldn’t come. I tried running them down, but it’s as if all of them know where I am before I even get close to them!”

The old man replied: “I see you’re new around these parts. When the ice caps melted, a huge iron repository was found, and it contaminated the water. The salmon migrated here and the iron fused in the salmon’s nervous system. They have their own internal magnet now and can sense the electromagnetic fields radiating out of your electronically powered net. The old man lent the fisherman an old wooden net and taught him the best places to find the salmon.

In short, Net Neutrality is Important.

——-

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Elderly Hook Up
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Elderly Hook Up

An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman’s apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they’re both laying there, staring at the ceiling.

The old man is thinking… “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.”

The old lady is thinking… “Geeez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”

“““““

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