Three women in a gym locker room

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.

He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. “He’s not my husband,” she says.

He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. “He’s not my husband either.”

He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.

“Wait a minute,” she says. “He’s not even a member of this club.”


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Favorite patients to work on

Four surgeons are discussing their favorite patients to work on.

The first surgeon to speak says “librarians are my favorite; when you cut them open, everything inside is alphabetical filed.”

The next surgeon replies “I prefer to work on accountants, because everything is in numerical order.”

The third surgeon rebuttles “electricians are the best, when you open them up, everything is color-coded.”

After some thought, the fourth surgeon finally speaks up. “I like working on politicians.” Baffled, the other three surgeons turn to each other in disbelief.

The fourth surgeon continues: “Because they’re heartless, gutless, spineless, and the ass and head are interchangeable.”


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A Drunk Man

A drunk man stumbles out of bar and runs into 2 priest. The drunk man looks at the 1st priest and says,
“Hey, I’m Jesus Christ.”

The 1st priest tells the man, “No, my son, you’re not.”

Then the man turns to the 2nd priest and says the same thing. “Hey, I’m Jesus Christ.”

The 2nd priest tells the man, “No, my son, you’re not.”

The drunk man tells the priests that he can prove it. So he takes the 2 priests into the bar and the bartender says,

“Jesus Christ. You’re back again?”


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New Indian Girl

It was the first day of a school in the USA and a new Indian girl named Prisha Patel entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, “Let”s begin by reviewing some American hitory. Who said “Give me Liberty, or give me Death”?”

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Prisha, who had her hand up:? “Patrick shenry, 1775” she said.

“Very good! Who said “Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?””

Again, there was no response except for the new Indian student. “Abraham Lincoln, 1863” said Prisha.

The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Prisha, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.”

She heard a loud whisper: “Fuck the Indians,”

“Who said that?” she demanded. Prisha put her hand up. “General Custer, 1876.”


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