Teaching the kids about starvation

The teacher was teaching the kids about starvation.

Being a good teacher,she decided to call on selected students to draw a picture of starvation on the board.

Sue went first, she drew a round circle with three little lines in the middle of the circle.

The teacher said, “That’s very good Sue. What is it?”

Sue said, “That’s a plate with only three carrot sticks to eat, I think that… represents starvation.”

Next went Dan, he drew a round circle with 3 dots in the middle.

The teacher said, “That’s good Dan. What is it?”

Dan said, “That’s a plate with only 3 peas to eat. I think that represents starvation.”

Johnny went next. He drew a picture of a round circle with little squiggly lines all over in the circle.

The teacher said, “That’s good Johnny. What is it?”

Johnny said, “That’s an arsehole with cobwebs…….. If that isn’t starvation, I don’t know what is.


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Grandpa found a bottle of pills

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in the bathroom medicine cabinet, he asked his son about using one of the pills.

The son said, “I don’t think you should take one Dad; they’re very strong and very expensive.” “How much?” asked Grandpa.

“$10. a pill,” answered the son. “I don’t care,” said Grandpa, “I’d still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I’ll put the money under the pillow.”

Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, “I told you each pill was $10, not $110. “I know,” said Grandpa. “The hundred is from Grandma!”


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Age Gap Marriage

Roger, 85, married Jenny, a 25 year old. She is a lovely girl, but there is a significant age gap. So, since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms. She is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door.

Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.

All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Roger. Again he is ready for more ‘action’. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling.

When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it – Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more ‘action’.

And, once more they enjoy each other.

But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, ‘I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.’

Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: ‘You mean I was here already?’


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Kelly, Elena and Sally

Three women named Kelly, Elena and Sally, our blonde protagonist, attempted to rob the local bank.

Kelly explained the plan to both of them. They went through it once again and then left for the bank.

While Sally went inside the bank, Elena waited in the driver’s seat and Kelly was leaning against the back of their van.

A few moments later when the siren sounded, Kelly opened the back door and jumped into the van, ready for Sally to arrive.

Sally runs out with a bomb in one hand and a rope in the other with a safe tied to it tugging along. A guard with his pants down was running behind her.

Sally tried but couldn’t get the safe into the van. At last, Kelly shouted, “Leave it ! Get in !” Sally gets in and they rush out.

After reaching safety, Kelly began shouting, “What were you thinking ?! What was that all about ?! I think I told ….. Sally YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TIE THE GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE !”


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