Ray, Billy, and Dugly
description

Ray, Billy, and Dugly

Three roughnecks – Ray, Billy, and Dugly – were working on a rig in the oilfield. While they were working one day, Ray falls off the rig tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance picks up his dead body and drives away, Billy says, “Somebody needs to go and tell his wife.” Dugly replied, “I’ll do it. I’m good with this sensitive stuff.”

Two hours later Dugly returns with a case of beer. Billy asked him, “Where’d you get the beer?” Dugly told him Ray’s wife gave it to him. Billy replies, flabbergasted, “Unbelievable! You told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?”

Dugly said, “Not exactly, Billy. When she answered the door, I asked her ‘Are you Ray’s widow’. She says, ‘You must be mistaken, I’m not a widow.'”
“And then I said, ‘I’ll bet you a case of beer you are.'”

“””””

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Years of disappointment about her tits
description

Years of disappointment about her tits

After years of feeling disappointment about her tits Rachel decides she needs implants.

So she went to see Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts. Dr. Smith told her, “I’ll do it, but there may be another way with no downtime in recovery! Every day after your shower rub your breasts and say, “Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies.”

She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew terrific D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus and in a panic realised she had forgotten her morning ritual.

Frightened she might lose her beautiful big tits if she didn’t recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her eyes and said, “Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies.”

A guy sitting nearby looked at her, “By any chance, are you a patient of Dr. Smith’s?” “Why, yes I am… How did you know?” He leaned closer, winked and whispered, “Hickory dickory dock…”

“””””

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Boy tries to get with cute girl in a library
description

Boy tries to get with cute girl in a library

A boy asked a cute girl in a library, “Do you mind if I sit beside you”?

The girl Answered with a loud angry voice; “I don’t want to spend the night with you!!

All the people in the library started staring at the boy and he was embarrassed.

After minutes the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and said to him I study psychology and I know what man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed,right?

The guy responded with a loud voice :$400 for one night

That’s too much!! and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, “I study law and I know how to make someone guilty.

“””””

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Qrackers the Duck
description

Qrackers the Duck

A woman brought her very limp duck named Qrackers to a veterinary surgeon.

As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the duck’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, your duck Qrackers, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. Qrackers is dead,” replied the Vet.

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a Labrador.

As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The Vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$1000!” she cried, “$1000 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $1000.”

“””””

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