A man wants to go fishing

A man wants to go fishing with his wife and dog.

So he walks up to his wife and says: “Honey, we’re going fishing; you, me and the dog.”

She replies, “I don’t wanna go fishing.”

Man says, “Well, you will either go fishing with me, let me fuck you in the ass, or suck my dick. I’ll give you a few minutes to decide.”

15 minutes later, he asks, “So have you made up your mind?”

She replies, “I guess I’ll just suck your dick since I really don’t wanna go fishing.”

So the wife starts sucking his dick and almost throws up. She says, “Wtf your dick tastes like shit!”

The man replies, “Yeah, the dog didn’t wanna go fishin’ either.”


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A man goes to the doctors complaining of hemorrhoids. Doctor takes a look and exclaims “wow, that’s pretty bad, but have these suppositories that will fix that up right away. Come back in a week and we can re-assess.”

The guy comes back in a week. Doctor: So? How are you feeling? Guy: doc it’s even worse. Doctor: Really? I am surprised those suppositories are the best on the market. Guy: Doc, for the amount of good they did I could have shoved them up my ass.


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A Jewish son

A Jewish son tells his father he is moving out. The son returns a year later and tells his father that he has converted to Christianity.

The father is upset and calls his friend who is also Jewish. “You won’t believe this, my son David moved out for a year and came back and told me he converted to Christianity.” His friend says, “you won’t believe this…my son Benjamin moved away for a year and when he came back HE converted to Christianity too”!

Both upset, they call their rabbi and explain what happened. The rabbi says, “you won’t believe this, my son Joshua moved away and when HE came back he told me he converted to Christianity too”!

The rabbi suggests they call God and tell him. The rabbi tells God that all three men had sons who moved away and converted to Christianity and don’t know what to do. God says to them, “you won’t believe this…”


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A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, “I want to have sex with you right now!”

He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before.

When he finished, he started putting his clothes back on and noticed his wife still twitching and wiggling against the door.

The man said to his wife, “Daaammmnnn, That was so good, honey. You’ve never moved like that before. You didn’t hurt yourself did you?”

His wife replied, “No, no. I’ll be OK. Once I get the doorknob out of my ass.”


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