Joke of the Day: The Winker
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Joke of the Day: The Winker

A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.

“Looking at your resume, I can see that you’re more than qualified,” says the interviewer. “Unfortunately, we can’t have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can’t hire you.”

“But wait,” says the man. “If I take two aspirin, I stop winking.”

“Then show me,” replies the interviewer.

So the guy reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pile of condoms in all different shapes, sizes, and colors before finally finding a packet of aspirin. He pops the pills and immediately stops winking.

“It’s great you stopped winking,” says the interviewer, “but we can’t have our salesmen womanizing all over the country.”

“What do you mean?” asks the man. “I’m happily married.”

“How do you explain all the condoms?” asks the interviewer.

“Oh, that,” sighs the man. “Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?”

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Joke of the Day: Breastfeeding
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Joke of the Day: Breastfeeding

A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby..

The baby wouldn’t take it, so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”

Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, “Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.”

A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out,

“Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!

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Joke of the Day: Husband Store
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Joke of the Day: Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.

When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

“You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!”

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and The sign reads: Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and The sign reads: Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

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Joke of the Day: Lie-detecting robot
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Joke of the Day: Lie-detecting robot

A man decides to buy a lie-detecting robot that slaps people who lie, and decided to test it out on his son at Dinner.

“Did you go to school today, Jim?” asks the father.

“Yes,” replies the son, “I, did go to school” The Robot slaps him. “FINE, I went to the movies!

“Which one did you see?” the Father proceeds to ask.

“Toy Store 3” mumbled the son. Once again, the robot slaps him. “FINE! I saw an R-Rated film!”

“When we were your age, we would be killed if we watched an R-rated film! Heck, we didn’t even know what those were at the time!” yells the father. The robot slaps him.

The mother laughs and says “Haha, after all, he IS your son.” The robot slaps her as well.

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