A man who had three beautiful girlfriends
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A man who had three beautiful girlfriends

A man had three beautiful girlfriends but didn’t know which one to marry. As a test, he decided to give each woman $5,000 to see how they would spend it.

The first girlfriend went out and got herself a complete makeover. She told him, “I spent the money so I could look pretty for you cause I love you so much.”

The second went shopping and bought the man new golf clubs, an iPad and 80-inch flatscreen television. She said, “I bought these gifts for you because I love you so much.”

The third woman took the $5,000 and invested it in stock market, to the man and reinvested the rest. She said, “I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.”

The man thought long and hard about how each of his girlfriends had spent the money, and then he decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.

“““““

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A frog goes into a bank
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A frog goes into a bank

A frog goes into a bank for sizable a personal loan.

He finds himself at the desk of a man with a name plate that reads “J. Paddywack: Sr. Loan Officer”

Paddywack says, “This is quite an amount you’re asking for Mr…”

“Richards,” the frog says, “My dad, Keith, said you’d be able to help me.”

“Um…yes. Do you have any collateral?” The loan officer asks.

The frog pulls a small statue of a clown and puts it on the desk.

Paddywack picks up the statue and says to the frog, “I’ll need to speak to my manager.”

In the manager’s office, the loan officer explains the situation. He pulls out the clown and asks, “Do you know what this is?”

The manager looks at it for a second before replying,

“It’s a knick knack, Paddywack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

“““““

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Little Suzie walks in on her parents
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Little Suzie walks in on her parents

Little Suzie walks in on her parents having sex.

She’s told to wait downstairs. Her mother comes down first and tries to console her.

Mommy, what were you doing to daddy?

Well sweetheart, you know how your father’s a little overweight? Every day I bounce up and down on top of him to let some of the air out.

The little girl starts laughing.

What’s so funny hunny?

You’re wasting your time mommy. Every day when you go to work, the neighbor comes over and blows him right back up!

“““““

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Guy is in bed having an affair with a woman
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Guy is in bed having an affair with a woman

One guy is in bed having an affair with a woman, when he hears her husband’s footsteps.

The woman tells him to get his clothes and jump out the window. He complains because it’s raining a lot but, having to other option, he jumps out and falls in the middle of the street, where a marathon is taking place.

Trying to go unnoticed, he joins the runners and starts running too. Everyone starts looking at him weirdly, because he doesn’t have any clothes on. So one of the runners asks him:

– Do you always run without clothes?

– Yes! – He answers – I love this feeling of freedom…

Another runner asks:

– But do you always run like this, holding your clothes in your hands?

Still not willing to forfeit, he replies:

– I like it like this. I can get dressed at the end of the race, get in the car and drive home.
A third runner insists:

– But do you always run holding your clothes in your hands and with a condom on your dick?

– Only when it’s raining.

“““““

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