Sherlock Holmes and Watson
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Sherlock Holmes and Watson

Sherlock Holmes arrives back at Baker Street as Watson is heading out of the door.

“Where are you off to Watson?”

“Oh, I’ve got a date with Ella from down the road. She left me a note for where to meet.” Says Watson, “see you in a few hours!” and he leaves, shutting the door behind him.

30 minutes later, Watson returns.

Sherlock is sitting in his chair, smoking his pipe. As Watson enters, he says, “I expected you back 10 minutes ago, but close enough. I’ve left some dinner on the table for you, it should still be warm”.

“But… but… how did you know I’d be back so soon?” Replies Watson.

“When you left, I pondered for a moment at why Ella, someone so youthful and attractive, would want to date an older man of your prestige”, explains Sherlock, “I assessed the note that Ella posted earlier this evening. It was in fact addressed to 212b, not 221b Baker Street”.

“That’s Terry Farnell’s address”. Say’s Watson.

“I’m afraid so”, replies Sherlock, “Ella meant Terry, my dear Watson”.

——-

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Stories from a remote village
description

Stories from a remote village

A journalist goes to a poor remote village for a documentary.

He saw an old man and asked him to narrate a typical happy story of his village.

The old man smiled and began: “One day, a long time ago, my goat got lost in the mountains. As is our tradition, all the men of the village gathered to drink vodka first and then looked for the goat. When we finally found her, as is our tradition, we all drank some more vodka and all the men in the village each got their turn to mate with the goat. We had so much fun that day!”

The journalist realized that he couldn’t publish such a story so he asked the old man if he had another happy story.

The old man smiled again and started all over again: “Once, my neighbor’s wife got lost in the mountains. As per our tradition, all of the village’s men gathered to drink vodka and then went to look for her. As is our tradition, when we finally found her, all the men in the village got their turn to mate with the neighbor’s wife. We had great fun that day!”

The journalist couldn’t publish that story either and therefore asked: “Don’t you have a story that is less happy; something… umm … sadder?”

The old man’s smile faded. His eyes welled up….. In a sad, soft voice he began:

“One day I got lost in the mountains…..”

——-

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What is sex
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What is sex

My daughter asked me today:”Dad, What is sex?”

I had feared this moment would come and didn’t think it would come this soon but nevertheless I was prepared.

So I sat her down and explained it all. The birds and the bees, the different sexual orientations, all the positions and of course I had to mention all the STD’s and the rules of safe sex.

When I finished she looked at me shocked and confused:

“So… which box should I check on this form? Male or Female?”

“““““

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Naming Babies Uncommon Names
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Naming Babies Uncommon Names

A boy named Carol had a particularly rough childhood because of his uncommon name.

He always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school. Eventually, he overcame his hang-up and married his high-school sweetheart.

When their first child was born, he let his wife name her. She named the baby girl “Love,” inspired in the same spirit as Carol’s unique name.

Unfortunately, Love grew up and endured much of the same teasing that Carol did, because of her strange name. She came home from school one day and screamed at her dad, asking why he gave her such a stupid name. Carol took the blame to protect his wife and apologized. In a fit of rage, Love shot him with her dart gun and ran away.

Minutes later, Carol’s wife came home and saw him lying on the ground. “What happened?” She asked, running to him.

He waved her closer, and whispered, “Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. Darling, you gave Love a bad name.”

“““““

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