Joke of the Day – Needs
description

Joke of the Day – Needs

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up.

But then the wife stops and says, “I don’ t feel like it. I just want you to hold me.”

The husband says ” WHAT???” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman.

The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and had her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, We ‘ll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each.

And then goes to the jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.

The husband says “but you don ‘t even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it.’

The wife is jumping up and down. So excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says ” I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register. ”

The husband says, ” no no no, honey we’re not going to buy all this stuff.” The wife face goes blank.

” No honey – I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.”

Her face gets really red she is about to explode and then the husband says ” You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a MAN!”

“““““

Funny comic strip and funny thoughts area at NickGenius.com

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Joke of the Day –  two blondes
description

Joke of the Day – two blondes

there were two blondes, and they had just came from a store.

The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest for a second.

When she sat down, her friend said, “Hurry up, it’s starting to rain and the top’s down!”

“““““

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Joke of the Day – ventriloquist cowboy
description

Joke of the Day – ventriloquist cowboy

A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting near his pad.

Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?

Indian: Dog no talk.

Cowboy: Hey dog, how’s it going?

Dog: Doin’ all right.

Indian: [Extreme look of shock]

Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian]

Dog: Yep

Cowboy: How’s he treating you?

Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.

Indian: [look of disbelief]

Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your horse?

Indian: Horse no talk.

Cowboy: Hey horse, how’s it going?

Horse: Cool.

Indian: [extreme look of shock]

Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian]

Horse: Yep

Cowboy: How’s he treating you?

Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.

Indian: [total look of amazement]

Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your sheep?

Indian: Sheep lie!

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Joke of the Day – One Shot
description

Joke of the Day – One Shot

Two buddies are hunting in the woods when one says to the other, “Hey, i can see your house from here…and, wait! Your wife is in her room with some other guy.”

The other says: “Alright, shoot her in the head, and shoot him in the privates.”

The buddy replies: “Easy. I can make that in one shot.”

“““““

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