A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, “Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.” “And what,” his friend asked, “do you want me to do with your ashes?”
The businessman said, “Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope, “Now you have everything.”
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A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible. The brunette knows that she’s speeding so she asks the blonde if there’s a cop behind them. The blonde looks behind her and sees a cop and tells the brunette. The brunette then asks if his he’s got his lights on. The blonde replies “Yes…No…Yes…No…Yes…No”
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A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring. As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned. “Tell me,” she asked the elderly salesman “is there anything special I’ll have to do to take care of this ring?” With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, “One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day.”
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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde were in a wilderness chased by police and their dogs. They got tired running so they each climbed a tree.
The police dogs came and started barking on a tree with the brunette on it. The brunette cried “COOO COOO” The police said it’s just a pigeon up there. The dogs then barked on a tree with the redhead on it. The redhead cried “HOOO HOOO” The police said it’s just an owl up there. The dogs then came to the tree with the blonde on it. The blond cried “MOOO MOOO”.
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