Atheist and holy man playing golf
description

Atheist and holy man playing golf

An atheist and a holy man are playing golf. The atheist misses his first shot and curses.

“Damn!”

The holy man winces. “I really don’t think you should say things like that.”

“Oh, stop being such a square,” says the atheist.

They keep playing, and a little later, the atheist misses another shot.

“God damn it, I missed again!”

The holy man tries to admonish the atheist again, but to no avail.

“God really doesn’t like people who speak against him, you know.”

But the atheist dismisses the holy man’s words, and the two keep playing.
Then, the atheist misses a third time.

“GOD DAMN IT! I missed again. And don’t you start about your God! Fuck God, anyway, he’s a piece of shit!”

And, at that moment, a bolt of lightning struck the holy man, and he fell dead on the spot.
Then, a voice spoke amid rolling thunder.

“Fuckin’ shitballs, I missed the Goddamn bastard.”

“““““

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American politician and an Indian minister
description

American politician and an Indian minister

An American politician invites an Indian minister to his home. The American politician shows the Indian minister his Rolls Royce. “Beautiful isn’t it?” He asks the minister.

“Hmm, Yes it is”

“Wanna know how I could afford to buy it?” the American politician points in a direction “You see that bridge over there? 5% of its building funds went into my pockets”
The minister just nods.

A few weeks later, the minister invites the American politician to his home for a party. Upon reaching the minister’s home, the American politician was surprised at how grand it was. It was a royal-looking mansion.

He asks the minister, “Where did you get the money to buy it from?”

The minister takes him outside and points in a direction and says

“You see that bridge over there?”

The American politician replies “No”

“““““

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A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress
description

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, a bleary-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, “Give the ballerina a drink!

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them revealing the same hairy armpit and asked, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, “Give the ballerina another drink!”

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, “I say, old chap, it’s none of my business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her ‘the ballerina’ ?”
The drunk replied, “Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina.”

“““““

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This is a mean joke
description

This is a mean joke

A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go on a hunting trip, they are walking through the woods when they spot a deer in a clearing.

The physicist calculates the distance of the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, adjusts his rifle and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the left.

The engineer rolls his eyes. ‘You forgot to account for wind. Give it here’, he snatches the rifle, licks his finger and estimates the speed and direction of the wind and fires, missing the deer 5 feet to the right.

Suddenly, the statistician claps his hands and yells “We got him!”

——-

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