Making large bank deposits
description

Making large bank deposits

A man goes to a bank and asks to deposit $5,000 into his account. The next day, he comes back and deposits $10,000. The next day, he comes back and deposits $7,500.

As he walks out, the banker asks him how he gets so much money in a day. The man walks up to him and whispers, “I make bets with people.” The banker tells him, “How do you make so much?”

The man says, “Here, I bet $50 you have a birthmark on your ass.” The banker says no, but the man wants proof. The banker pulls down his pants and shows him that there is no birthmark, but the man is still smiling.

The banker asks why. The man says, “Because I bet each person in the building $50,000 that I could get you to pull down your pants.”

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She could use some company
description

She could use some company

Guy tells hours wife he’s going out for cigarettes. He gets his smokes and waiting to pay when the woman in front of him turns and says, “I just broke up with my boyfriend…I could use some company…”

The dude mulls it over and decides to go home with her. They have sex and he falls asleep…

At 3AM, he wakes in a panic knowing his wife is going to be furious… He yells at the woman, “Where’s your baby powder?” Confused, she says, “Top shelf of the medicine cabinet!”

He puts it all over his hands and hurries home. Sure enough, his wife is waiting up, pissed to no end. He says, “Baby, I went to get smokes and this hot chick came on to me and I’m just a man and I gave in. We fucked and I passed out and just woke up…”

She says, “Show me your hands!” He holds them out, covered in baby powder and she says, “You lying bastard! You were playing pool all night!”

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Husband’s Mistress
description

Husband’s Mistress

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and asks, “Who the hell was that?”

The husband answers “Oh, she’s my mistress.”

The wife angrily says, “Well, that’s the last straw, I’ve had enough, and I want a divorce.”

He replies, “I can understand that but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Rolls Royce’s and Ferrari’s in the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm and the wife asks, “Who’s that woman with Jim?”

The husband tells her, “That’s his mistress.”

The wife says, “Well, ours is prettier.”

“““““

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Affair with the pastor’s wife
description

Affair with the pastor’s wife

Dugly goes to his buddy Jake and says … “I’m having an affair with the pastor’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after service for me?”

The friend doesn’t like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After service, Jake starts talking to the pastor, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the pastor gets annoyed and asks him what he’s really up to.

Jake feeling guilty, finally confesses to the pastor…

“My friend is having an affair with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.”

The pastor smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Jake’s shoulder and says…

“You better hurry home now, my wife died a year ago”

“““““

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