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Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. “I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession.” The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. “I’m a cop”, says the first man. “Then we will shoot your penis off!”, said the sheik. He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. “I’m a firemen”, said the second man. “Then we will burn your penis off!”, said the sheik. Finally, he asked the last man, “And you, what do you do for a living?” And the third man answered, ” I’m a lollipop salesman! ”

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An Irishman was coming out of a pub one night after a few Guinesses. When he walked out the door, he was accosted by a masked gunman who said “Are you a Catholic or are you Protestant? The Irishman didn’t know how to answer, because the thought to himself “If I say Catholic, I could get killed, and if I say I’m Protestant, I could get killed.” So, quickly he answered “I’m Jewish.” The gunman replied “Well aren’t I the luckiest Arab in Ireland!!!”

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A young boy who had been staring out the airplane’s window before takeoff asked his mother, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, do big planes have baby planes?” The mother suggested he ask the nearby stewardess who was preparing for takeoff. The boy walked up to the stewardess and asked in the most innocent voice, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, do big planes have baby planes?” The stewardess responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?” The boy nodded. “Well, then, you tell mommy that our airline doesn’t have any baby planes because we always pull out on time. Now fasten your seatbelts!”

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