A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: “Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don’t understand.”

“What did you not understand ?”

And the blonde says: “Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it’s just a quarter!”

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These two rednecks Billy Bob & Chub go hunting one afternoon. While they are out, Chub all of a sudden falls over and quits breathing. The other redneck Billy Bob pulls out his cellphone and calls 911. He says, “O my gosh, my friend Chub just fell down on the ground and quit breathin. I think he might be dead.” Well, the 911 employee says “Make sure he’s dead.” Billy Bob says “Okay, give me a second.” All of a sudden, they hear a loud bang. Billy Bob picks the phone back up and says “Yup, he’s dead alrite.”

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A blonde girl walks into a doctor’s office. She gets in the room with the doctor and says, “Doc, I hurt all over.” The doctor is really confused. He says, “What do you mean, you hurt all over?” The blonde says, “I’ll show you.”

She then touches herself on her left leg. “OW!!! I hurt there.” Then she touches her earlobe. “OW!!!!!! I hurt there too!” Then she touches her hair. “OW!!!!! EVEN MY HAIR HURTS!” So the doctor sits back and thinks on it for 5 min. Then he says, “Tell me, is blonde your natural hair color?” The blonde says “Yes, why?”

The doctor says, “Well, you got a broken finger…”

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