Joke of the Day: Little Johnny likes to gamble.

Little Johnny likes to gamble.

One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.

Johnny’s daddy thinks, “I’ll get a head start on Johnny’s gambling.”

So he calls the teacher and says, “My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you’ll have to keep an eye on him.”

The teacher says OK, she can handle it.

The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, “Hi, my name is Johnny.”

She says yes I know who you are.

Johnny smiles and says, “I bet you ten dollars you’ve got a mole on your butt.”

The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet.

She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.

That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why.

So his dad calls the teacher and says, “Johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost.”

The teacher says, “Yeah, and I think I broke his gambling problem.”

Johnny’s dad laughs and says, “No you didn’t, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he’d see your ass before the day was over.”
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Joke of the Day: Bubba and Clyde

Two rednecks Bubba and Clyde decided that they weren’t going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

Clyde went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.

“What’s logic?” Clyde asked.

The professor answered, “Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?”

“I sure do.”

“Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard,” replied the professor.

“That’s real good!” said Clyde.

The professor continued, “Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house.”

Impressed, the redneck said, “Amazing!”

“And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife.”

“That’s Betty Mae! This is incredible!”

The redneck was catching on.

“Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual,” said the professor.

“You’re absolutely right! Why that’s the most fascinatin’ thing I ever heard! I cain’t wait to take that logic class!”

Clyde, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.

“So what classes are ya takin’?” asked Bubba.

“Math, history, and logic!” replied Clyde.

“What in tarnation is logic?” asked Bubba.

“Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?” asked Clyde.

“No,” Bubba replied.

“You’re queer, ain’t ya?”

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Joke of the Day: Famous lawyer

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.

Can you tell me how much you charge?, said the client.

Of course, the lawyer replied, I charge $200 to answer three questions!

Well thats a bit steep, isnt it?

Yes it is, said the lawyer, And whats your third question?
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Joke of the Day: really old couple

A really old couple is having another couple over for dinner. While the two women are fixing the dinner, the men start talking and one says to the other one “I took my wife to a great restaurant last week – great food, huge portions, fantastic service, and low prices.” The other man says “Sounds great. What was the name of the restaurant?” The man says “What’s the name of that red flower that you give to someone special?” “Carnation?” his friend asks. “No, that’s not it.” “Poppy?” he asks again. “No, that’s not it either.” “Rose?” he asks. “That’s it. Now I remember. Hey Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to?”

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