A man walks into a bar with his dog and puts the dog on a barstool. The bartender asks the man what he wants to drink. “I’ll have a bourbon and Coke!” The man then turns to his dog and asks, “What are you going to have, Rover?” “I’ll have a Scotch and soda — [...]
There was a businesswoman who just made a million dollars for an Arabian Oil Sheik. When she was leaving the Oil Sheik offered her Diamonds and rubies and a Silver-plated Rolls Royce, but she declined. The Sheik insisted so she said that she just started to golf and maybe a set of golf clubs would [...]
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. Lady 1: What’s that? Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet. Lady 1: Where [...]
While the Pope was in St. Louis he decided to grant absolution to three sinners. The first person to come up was Richard Nixon. The Pope asked, “What is your sin?” “I hired people to break into the Watergate Hotel.” The Pope replied, “Kneel down. I’ll bless you and grant you absolution.” Next in line [...]