Archive for December, 2009

Joke of the Day – drunkenness

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face. “Maybe all I need is some fresh air,” thought the man as he crawled outside. He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud. “Screw it,” he thought. [...]

Joke of the Day – worst age

“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old man. “You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out.” “Ah, that’s nothin,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you don’t have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on [...]

Joke of the Day – Hazel

Hazel was a 93-year-old woman, particularly despondent over the death of her husband, Earl. She decided she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over quickly, she took out Earl’s old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since [...]

Joke of the Day – basic training

It was near the end of basic training and all the soldiers were getting ready for the war. A private came charging into his Lieutenant’s office and said ” Lieutenant, we don’t have enough rifles. What am I going to use for the war?” “I don’t have time to deal with this right now” the [...]