Fred and Klaus met, as usual, on Tuesday evening to talk about their misdeeds from the past weekend. Fred boasted, “I was at a party over the weekend, and it was insane, the hosts even had a golden toilet!” Klaus replied, “You must be crazy; a golden toilet?!”

After some back and forth, they decided to pay a visit to the people who threw the party to see if the golden toilet was real. Sure enough, they arrived at the house later on, where an older woman answered the door and asked, “Can I help you?” Fred explained, “Yes, ma’am, I was here at your party over the weekend, and my friend Klaus here doesn’t believe me that you have a golden toilet in this house!” The woman then looked at them, turned to her hallway, and called out to her husband, “Hey Hermann, here’s the pig that crapped in your trumpet!”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket.

All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he’d be home-free. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home. He offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc… The cabbie said, “If you don’t have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!” So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.
One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, “How much for a ride to the airport,” he asked? “Fifteen bucks,” came the reply. “And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?” “What?! Get the hell out of my cab.” The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, “How much for a ride to the airport?” The cabbie replied, “Fifteen bucks.” The businessman said, “OK,” and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers.

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.

He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!”
Some of the locals shifted restlessly.

The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post.
He saddled up and started to ride out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say partner, before you go… what happened in Texas?”
The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!

A man goes to a neighboring village to buy a mattress.
He buys the mattress for 200, lays it on his bike and start the long walk back home.
As soon as he enters his village, he runs into an acquaintance..

“What’s up” says the acquaintance..
“Went to the other village to buy a mattress”..
“How much did you buy it for?”
“200”

“Man, you got screwed..I bought a better quality mattress for 175 the other day”…
The man is a little pissed but walks on…and then runs into another acquaintance, and similar conversation follows but this time the guys says..
“Man you got screwed, I bought a better quality mattress for 150 the other day”..
?
The guys keeps walking, meeting people, everyone telling him how he got screwed, the last one telling him that he got a better quality mattress for 75 + two pillows thrown in…
The guy is massively pissed and as he gets close to his house, he runs into his neighbor..
Neighbor: “What’s up?”

At this point, the guy has no patience left and says
“I went to the other village to get screwed”..
Neighbor: “And you took your own mattress too?”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!