Joke of the Day – Great to Be a Guy
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Joke of the Day – Great to Be a Guy

Reasons it’s great to be a guy:

– Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

– Movie nudity is virtually always female.

– A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

– You don’t have to monitor your friends’ sex lives.

– Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

– You can open all your own jars.

– Old friends don’t give a crap whether you’ve lost or gained weight.

– Dry cleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind.

– When clicking through the channels, you don’t have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.

– All your orgasms are real.

– You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

– You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

– Your last name stays put.

– You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

– You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

– Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

– Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

– Wedding plans take care of themselves.

– If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

– You don’t have to shave below your neck.

– None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

– You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

– If you’re 34 and single, nobody even notices.

– You can write your name in the snow.

– Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

– Chocolate is just another snack.

– You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.

– Flowers fix everything.

– You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

– Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

– You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

– Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.

– You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

– You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

– You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking “He must be mad at me”.

– The world is your urinal.

– Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

– One mood, all the time

– You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one’s just too skeevy.

– You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you’re wearing.

– Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

– You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

– Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.

– You don’t care if someone’s talking about you behind you back.

– With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth’s population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

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