Roger just got a new rifle and is all excited about it. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear. The black bear says “You’ve got 2 choices. One, I maul you to death or Two, we have sex.” Roger bends over for the bear. He’s sore for 2 days, but he recovers and vows revenge. Roger heads out on another trip to Alaska and he finds the black bear and kills him. At that moment there is a tap on his shoulder. A huge grizzly is standing right behind him. The grizzly says, “That was a big mistake. You’ve got 2 choices, “Either I maul you to death or we have sex.” Roger bends over. He survives, but he’s really hurting and takes quite a bit of time to recover, and, he’s outraged. Sure enough, he heads back to Alaska and finds the grizzly and shoots him at point blank range. There’s a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to find an enormous polar bear, and the polar bear says; “You don’t really come here for the hunting, do you?”

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There was a guy sitting at a bar, just staring at his glass.

A truck carrying liquor arrives. The trucker comes in, orders a drink and says to the bartender,
“Lookit that guy over there. He won’t drink his beer. I’ll go drink it 4 ‘im.”

He walks over to the man, grabs his glass and gulps the drink down.

The man starts crying, and the trucker says “Ah, ya dum’ bloke! bartender, get this loser a drink!”

The man replies, “No,no,no, it’s not that! First, I fell asleep at work again, so my boss fired me,

then, while I was heading home my car broke down, so I had to walk home.

Then my wife said, ‘I don’t want you so please leave.’

Then I came here and wasted all my money drinking, and there you go drinking my POISON!!!”

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