There is a medical distinction. Weve all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS – Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?

BALLS – Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: Youre next, fatty.

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.

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An old man sitting at the mall watched a teenager intently. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him.

When the teenager was tired of being stared at, he sarcastically asked, Whats the matter, old man? Never did anything wild in your life?

The old man did not bat an eye when he responded, Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.

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10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, Ill gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!!
5. HMMMMM, I think its out of fluid!
4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
3. Its an entry level position.
2. When do you think youll be getting off today?

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but at the office isnt:
1. Its not fair. I do all the work while he just sits there!!!

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10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge .
8. Counselor, let’s do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in law isn’t:
1. Think you can get me off?

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