Joke of the Day – Fishing Trip
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Joke of the Day – Fishing Trip

He began his day with an 8lb walleye on the first cast and a 7lb on the second. On the third cast he had just caught his first ever walley over 11 pounds when his cell phone rang.

It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that hed be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best day ever on the water. He decided to get in a couple of more casts before heading to the hospital. He ended up fishing the rest of the morning, finishing his trip with a stringer like hed never seen, with 3 walley over 10 pounds.

He was jubilant……….then he remembered his wife.

Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wifes condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, You went ahead and finished your fishing trip didnt you?! I hope youre proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself on the pond your wife has been languishing in the ICU!! Its just as well you went ahead and finished because it will be more than likely the last fishing trip you ever take! For the rest of her life she will require round the clock care. And youll be her care giver forever!

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.

The doctor then chuckled and said…. Im just fuckin with ya. Shes dead. Whatd you catch?

……………..

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Joke of the Day – Mental Hospital
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Joke of the Day – Mental Hospital

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, 13…..13…..13….

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.

Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting 14…..14…..14….

……………..

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Joke of the Day – Government Job
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Joke of the Day – Government Job

A guy goes to the U.S. Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, Have you been in the service?

Yes, he says, I was in Vietnam for three years.

The interviewer says, That will give you extra points toward employment and then asks, Are you disabled in any way?

The guy says, Yes, 100%…. a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off.

The interviewer tells the guy, OK, I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 A.M.

The guy is puzzled and says, If the hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. then why do you want me to come in at 10:00 A.M.?

This is a government job, the interviewer says. For the first two hours we stand around scratching our balls…. no point in you coming in for that.

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