A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00.Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.The farmer says, “Alright then, I’ll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?”The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says, “It’s $1.00 per word.” The brunette thinks about this and says,”Comfortable, write that.””Comfortable?” the guy questions.”Yes, you see she reads slow.”

One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.”What’s the matter?” the bartender asks.”My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and now she isn’t talking to me for a whole 31 days.” The bartender thought about this for a while. “But, isn’t it a good thing that she isn’t talking to you?” asked the bartender.”Yeah, except today is the last night.”

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A regular at Bob’s Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful.”Whoa, Sam!” said the bartender. “Who gave those beauties to you?””Nobody gave them to me,” said Sam. “I had to fight like crazy for both of them.”

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A man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn’t smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers.In the bar, he saw the local jock of the town’s football team. He was bragging about his girlfriend and how she was lucky to have him for a boyfriend.The lumberjack, after drinking six bottles of beer, was heard to say, “Buddy, if she went out with me, she’d never go out with you ever again.”To which the local jock replied, “Hey buddy, if she went out with you, she’d never go out with ANYONE ever again.”

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