Joke of the Day – Hand Cream
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Joke of the Day – Hand Cream

There once were two priests, father Dick and father Ray.

One day after a very long mass, the two priests decided to hit the showers, halfway through there showers the priests realized that there was no soap.

So, father Ray says to Father dick “I have extra soap in my room, I’ll go get some”.

So he leaves to fetch the soap and doesn’t bother to get dressed becuase who would still be in the church at such a late hour? So he comes back from his room with two bars of soap and is walking down the hall when suddenly he hears voices coming around the corner, so with his quick thinking he froze to the wall, stiff as a statue.

The voices turned out to be that of three nuns, who, when saw him standing there like a statue stopped to look at and admire him complimenting at how realistic he looks and what a nice body he has.

When suddenly one of the nuns reaches out and grabbed his penis.

Startled, he dropped a bar of soap, with this the nun said “Oh look, a soap dispencer”, wanting to test the first nuns theory the second nun reaches out and also grabs his penis, again he drops a bar of soap.

With this the nun says “Yes it’s true, it is a soap dispencer”.

Wanting to get her share of soap and excitement too, the third nun reaches out and grabs his penis.

But nothing happended for he was all out of soap, so she goes on yanking and pulling his penis for the next few minutes until, to her delight, she squeals “Oh! Look, handcream!”

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Joke of the Day – Mommy’s Black Sponge
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Joke of the Day – Mommy’s Black Sponge

Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her vagina.

He asks her what it is and she embarassed replies, “Oh, that’s mommy’s black sponge.”

A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, “Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!”

She replies, “I lost it, honey.”

A couple of days later, he comes running up to her and says, “Mommy, I found your black sponge!” Mystified, she says, “Where, honey?”

Little Johnny says, “It’s over at Mrs. Johnson’s house, and Daddy’s washing his face in it!”

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Joke of the Day – Dinner Time
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Joke of the Day – Dinner Time

Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what “shit” meant.

Thinking fast she replied “food on the table”.

Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does “son of a bitch” mean.

Again, thinking fast again she says “It’s a priest”.

Next day he comes home a asks what does “fuckin'” mean. She says it means “getting dressed”.

That same night a priest was coming over for dinner. Johnny is just finished setting the table when he hears the doorbell ring.

He yells “got it”. He opens the door and says “Hey son of a bitch, shits on the table and mom and dad are upstairs fuckin'”.
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Joke of the Day – Sick Yo Mama Jokes
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Joke of the Day – Sick Yo Mama Jokes

Your momma’s pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn

I asked your momma “what’s for lunch” …She opened up her legs and said tuna surprise

I asked your momma “what’s for lunch” …She opened up her legs and said crabs

Your momma’s like a gun, two cocks and she’s loaded!

Your momma’s like a vaccum cleaner … She sucks, blows and gets laid in the closet.

Yo Mama’s like a mosquito, you have to slap her to get her to stop sucking

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