There was a man who was always late for work because of the rush hour traffic. On this particular day, he comes up to a stop sign, slows down, and then goes though it.

A cop pulls him over.. “What are you stopping me for?” the man asked.

The cop said, ” You did not come to a stop at that stop sign.”

“I did to, I slowed down, and that is the same thing as stopping,” the man retorted.

“No it isn’t and here is a ticket to prove it,” the cop responded.

The next day, the same man rolls up to the stop sign, slows down, and then goes through it. Again the same cop pulls him over.

“You just ran that stop sign!” he barked.

“I did not,” the man shouted,” I slowed down and that is the same thing as stopping!”

“No it isn’t,” the cop shouted back, “And here is a second ticket to prove it!”

The very next day, same man rolls up to the stop sign, slows down, then goes through it. The same cop pulls him over.

“You again, you just ran that stop sign!” he roared.

“I did not!” the man shouted back,” I SLOWED DOWN and that is the same thing as STOPPING!”

“No it isn’t, and here is a third ticket to prove it!”

On his way back home from work that night, he rolls up to the stop sign, slows down and then goes through it.

The same cop has had it. He grabs the man through the drivers window, and starts hitting him with his billy club.

“Now do you want me to STOP or SLOW DOWN?!!”

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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

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A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah in the Bible was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When i get to Heaven I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him!”

“““““

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A teacher told her class to go home and the first 5 words
they heard they were to say in school the next day.
One boy went home and as soon as he walked into the kichen he heard his mother say:
“SHUT UP!!!!”
So he wrote down”shut up” on a pice of papper.
He went into the living room to find his dad wathching a movie, and it said:
“Yea Baby!”
So he wrote that down on his paper.
He was going through the dining room to go to his sisters room, when he heard a Batman episode on. The theme song was on, and it said:
“Da-na-na-na Batman!!”
So he wrote that down too. When he got to his sisters room, she was praticing for the school play. He came in when she sang:
“Over the rainbow!!!”
When he wote that down he shouted “Yes, I’m done my homework!”
When he went to school the next day the teacher aked him to say his words first. He stood up and said:
“Shut up!”
The teacher was furious and said “Excuse me? Do you want to go to the Principal’s office youngman?” The boy replied,
“Yea baby.” So the teacher sent him to the office right away.
Still saying his wods the princiapal asked him “Who do you think you are telling a teacher to shut up?” The boy answerd,
“Da-na-na-na Batman!!”
“Oh really?” said the principal “Where do you think you’re going now?” the boy answerd the simple question with a simple answer,
“Over the rainbow!”

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