Month: November 2009

A young boy answered the phone in a whisper, “Hello?”

The man at the other end asked to speak to his father. The boy replied in a whisper, “He can’t come to the phone.”

The man then asked to speak to his mother. He again whispered, “She’s busy. She can’t come to the phone either.”

The man became confused and asked if anyone else was at the house with the boy. “Yes,” he whispered. “The police and the firemen are here too.”

When the man asked to speak to one of them, hoping to finally get an adult on the phone to find out what was going on, the boy again whispered, “They’re busy too. They can’t come to the phone either.”

Finally the man asked the boy what his father, his mother, the police and the fire department were so busy doing that they could not come to the phone.

The boy whispered “They’re looking for me.”

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A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting.

He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, “Let’s go!” The tense man sitting in the pilot’s seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

“Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, and make several low-level passes.”

“Why?” asked the nervous pilot.

“Because I’m going to take pictures!” yelled the photographer. “I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures.”

After a long pause the “pilot” replied, “You mean, you’re not my instructor?”

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Man’s wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed, so he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine.

At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.

After they’ve had their fun, he realizes its 3:A M and says, “Oh no, its so late, my wife’s going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?”

She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty pissed. “Where the hell have you been?!?!”

“Well, honey, its like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine.

I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.”

“Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!”
She sees his hands are covered with powder and…

“You liar!!! You went bowling again!!!”

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A man was driving along the highway and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful that he began to cry.

A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car, and asked the man what was wrong.

“I feel terrible,” he explained. “I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it.”

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do.

She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.

Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two people and hopped down the road.

Ten feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two people again, hopped down the road another 10 feet, turned, waved, and hopped another feet, turned and waved and repeated this again and again until it was out of sight.

The man was astonished. He couldn’t figure out what substance could be in the woman’s spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, “What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?”

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label.

It said: Are you ready for this?

“Hair Spray – Restores Life to Dead Hair. Adds Permanent Wave.”

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