Joke of the Day – super models

Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cindy Crawford are flying to a super models conference in Paris, when the captain of the plane announces: “We have just lost power to the engines and are going to make an emergency crash landing – assume the brace position immediately!”

Immediately the three models start preparing for the worst. Claudia pulls out lipstick and make-up and starts fixing her face.

Bewildered, Naomi and Cindy ask: “What in the hell are you doing fixing your make-up when we are about to freaking crash!”

Claudia responds: I know for a fact the rescue workers will search for, and save first, the ones who have the best looking faces- which is why I am putting on my make-up.”

Cindy Crawford rips open her blouse to expose two beautiful mounds of flesh which inexplicably defy the law of gravity. Totally confused, Naomi and Claudia shout: “Cindy, have you lost your senses? Why are you baring your breasts for everyone to see when we are about to die!” Cindy responds: “I have it on good authority in plane crashes, the rescue workers look to save first the women with big beautiful breasts- which is why I am exposing my tits!”

Not hesitating, Naomi Campbell pulls down her skirt and panties to expose her “love triangle.” Freaking out, Claudia and Cindy yell: “Naomi – Are you crazy?? Why are you exposing your crotch for everyone to see??” Calmly, Naomi responds: “BITCHES PLEASE! I know for a fact the first thing the they look for in plane crashes is a black box!!”

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Joke of the Day – Doctor

guys wife is in a comma and he gets a call from the doctor the doctor
doctor: have something a little weird to ask you
man: ok
Doctor: well when the nurse was washing your wife her hart rate jumped everytime she went over her vagina so I was thinking if you came in and had oral sex with your wife it might bring her out of the comma I know its a crazy request but I think its worth a shot.
Man: Ok doc I am willing to try anything

man gets to the hospital goes into his wifes room 5 minutes later she flatlines doctor rushes in

Doctor : what happen
Man : well I am no doctor but I think she choked

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Joke of the Day – drunk standing

There’s this drunk standing out on the street corner, and a cop passes by, and says, “What do you think you’re doing?” The drunk says, “I heard the world goes around every 24 hours, and I’m waiting on my house.Won’t be long now there goes my neighbor”

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Joke of the Day – orders a drink

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn’t want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying,”I spat in this beer, do not drink”. After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying,”So did I”

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