Joke of the Day – One Good Deed

An elderly gentleman is standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter addresses him: “All you need to have done is one good deed, and we will allow you passage into heaven”

The old man says, No problem, as he recounts to St. Peter that he once stopped at an intersection and saw a motorcycle gang harassing a young woman.

He got out of his car, walked up to one of the bikers, who was over seven feet tall and must have weighed nearly 400 pounds, and told the biker that abusing and harassing a woman is a cowardly act and that he would not tolerate it in his presence.

He then reached up, yanked out his nose ring and kicked him in the groin to make a point.

St. Peter is frantically searching the mans life in his book in front of him and says, I cant find that incident anywhere in your file. When did that happen?

The old man looks down at his watch and says, Oh, about five minutes ago.

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Joke of the Day – Playing House

A little girl and a little boy were at daycare.

The girl approached the boy and said, “Hey, Stevie, wanna play house?”

He said, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”

The girl replied, “I want you to communicate.”

He said to her, “That word is too big. I have no idea what it means.”

The little girl smirked and said, “Perfect. You can be the husband.”

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Joke of the Day – Wife Jokes

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

– Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’

– Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’

Second Guy: ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’

– Anonymous

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Joke of the Day – big dinner

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter’s
office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. “Oh, come on, quit joking,” snickered one. “You didn’t really do that, did you?” “You would never get through basic training,” scoffed another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, “Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?”

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