Joke of the Day: Jason is Speeding
description

Joke of the Day: Jason is Speeding

Jason Young is speeding down the highway when suddenly he sees red and blue flashing behind him. He pulls over his car and waits for the officer to approach his window. Jason sees the officer walking up so rolls down his window and asks “What seems to be the problem officer?”

“Well don’t you think you were going a little fast? I clocked you at 20 miles over the speed limit” the officer replies.

So Jason sighs and replies to him “I understand, I was just in such a rush, I absolutely have to get to work and I’m already late.”

“And what do you do that so important you need to drive 20 over the limit to get there?” the officer asks.

“Well I’m a rectum stretcher…” Jason replies back.

A little confused the officer scratches his chin and says “And just what in the hell does a rectum stretcher do?”

“It’s simple really” says Jason, “First I insert one finger in the anus, and loosen things up a bit. Then I get another finger in, and work it a little more. So I keep adding fingers until I can fit a whole fist in, and I just keep working that ass until I got it stretched six feet wide and six feet tall!”

The cop huffs and says “And what exactly does anyone do with a six foot tall asshole?”

Jason grins and says to him “You give him a radar gun and stick him behind a billboard!”

_______

Visit IntimateAdults.com for Adult Dating, if you’re looking for a dicreet releationship this is the site for you !

Joke of the Day: Married Life
description

Joke of the Day: Married Life

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back.” Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife.

“I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face. I’m going to have a beer.” The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, Lollipop…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses… ”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”

“You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie h?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.

“But my sweet honey…at the bar….you know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”

“You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?…”LISTEN UP D*CKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE F*CK UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR F*CKIN’ HORS D’OEUVRES. BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN’T GOING TO A F*CKIN’ BAR! THAT SH*IT IS OVER… GOT IT, AS*HOLE?”

…and they lived happily ever after.

“““““

Advanced Trim ingredients are clinically proven to help you lose weight. Get more info at AdvancedTrim.com

Joke of the Day: Two whales
description

Joke of the Day: Two whales

Two whales, Willie and Wendy are swimming around in the sea when they spot this fishing boat.

Thats the boat that killed my mother, says Willie, I have to get even.

He tells Wendy, go to the back of the boat and blow a big stream of water to get their attention, then Ill ram the boat and knock them all over board and you gobble them up.

No way says Wendy.

I dont mind the blow job but I aint swallowing the seaman.

“““““

Check out 007pills.com for Cialis, Viagra, Propecia, Lipitor and more! Visit the Web Pharmacy.

Joke of the Day: Doctors meeting
description

Joke of the Day: Doctors meeting

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, “People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems.” The others agreed.

Then one said, “Since we are all professionals, why don’t we take some time right now to hear each other out?”

The other three agreed.

The first then confessed, “I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my patients.”

The second psychiatrist said, “I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want.”

The third followed with, “I’m involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me.”

The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, “I know I’m not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t keep a secret…”

“““““

Get Amazon.com Coupons at JuicyCoupons.com to save money online !