Jim Walker walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, “I want to open a fuckin’ checking account”

To which the lady replied, “I beg your pardon, what did you say?”

“Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fuckin’ checking account right now.”

“Sir, I’m sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!”

The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked, “What seems to be the problem here?”

“There’s no damn problem,” Jim said, “I just won 50 million in the lottery and I want to open a fuckin’ checking account in this damn bank!”

“I see sir,” the manager said, “and this bitch is giving you a hard time?”

“““““

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $10.99!

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it– stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt.” “That’s when I made my big mistake.” “What did you do?” asks the doctor.

“Well, I lifted the cow’s tail again and yelled to my wife, “Hey, this looks like yours!” “I don’t remember much after that!”

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her Granny. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl.

The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Granny. The young girl became frantic.

Sure enough, Granny noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, “What are you lining up for dear?” Not willing to let Granny in on her secret, the young girl said that some people were giving out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

“Mmmm, sounds lovely,” said Granny, “I think I’ll have some myself,” she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Granny at the end of the line, he was bewildered. “But, you’re so old, how do you do it?”

Granny replied,” Oh, it’s quite easy sonny, I just remove my dentures and suck ’em dry.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sports Memorabilia Coupons: CouponKid.com