A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.

He stopped and asked the boy, “Where did you get that turkey?”

The boy replied, “What turkey?”

The game warden said, “That turkey you’re carrying under your arm.”

The boy looks down and said, “Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!”

The game warden said, “Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I’m going to do to you.

If you break his leg, I’m gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I’ll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I’ll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?”

The little boy said, “I guess I’ll just kiss his ass and let him go!”

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A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: “Making a call.”

One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call.

The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order.

Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call.

The boy returns, that mom says, “If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house.”

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A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The man said, “Look, I’m a computer programmer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool.”

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A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver Thermos.

She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk To ask what it was.

The clerk said, ‘Why, that’s a thermos….. It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.”

“Wow, said the blonde, “That’s amazing….I’m going to buy it!” So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day..

Her boss saw it on her desk. “What’s that,” he asked?

“Why, that’s a thermos….. It keeps hot things hot and cold things Cold,” she replied.

Her boss inquired, “What do you have in it?”

The blonde replied….. …”Two Popsicles and some coffee.”

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