Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob “I’m gonna get me some of that”!

Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep’s back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep.

He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says “Do you want some of this”? Billy Bob replies “yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence”.

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A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?”

The mother replies, “Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand”.

“OK” said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, “Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?”

“They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert”, “Thanks Mom” replies the son.

After a short while, the son returns and asks, “Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??”

The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, “They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without eating for long periods.”

“That’s great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store fat.

But Mom”, “Yes son?”

“Why the heck are we in the Philadelphia Zoo?”

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An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her room. “You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”

The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

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Carrie arrived home from work early one day and found her husband, Victor, in bed with another woman. “That’s it!” she screamed, “I’m leaving and I’m not coming back!”

“Wait honey,” Victor pleaded, “Can’t you at least let me explain?”

“Fine, let’s hear your story,” Carrie replied.

“Well, I was driving home when I saw this poor young lady sitting at the side of the road, barefoot, torn clothes, covered in mud and sobbing,” explained Victor.

“I immediately took pity on her and asked if she would like to get cleaned up. She got into the car and I brought her home. After she took a shower, I gave her a pair of the underwear that doesn’t fit you anymore, the dress that I bought you last year that you never wore, the pair of shoes you bought but never used and even gave her some of the turkey you had in the refrigerator but didn’t serve to me.”

“Then,” Victor continued, “I showed her to the door and she thanked me. As she was walking down the step, she turned around and asked me, ‘Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use anymore?'”

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