A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“Hunting Flies.” He responded.
“Oh! Are you killing any?” She asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 females,” he replied.
Intrigued, she asked ….. “How can you tell them apart?”
He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”
——-
.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com
A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico City.
While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.
“What is that you just served?” he asked the waiter.
“Ah senor, you have excellent taste!” the waiter replied. “Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull’s testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!’
“What the heck, bring me an order.”
“I am so sorry senor,” the waiter replied. “There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.”
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter.
“These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.”
The waiter shrugged his shoulders.
“Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins…”
“””””
Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.
A city boy, Lloyd, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day, so early in the morning he drove over to Lloyd’s.
Farmer: “Sorry son, I have some bad news, the donkey died.”
Lloyd: “Well then, just give me my money back.”
Farmer: “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
Lloyd: “OK then, just unload the donkey.”
Farmer: “What ya gonna do with him?”
Lloyd: “I’m going to raffle him off.”
Farmer: “You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”
Lloyd: “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month later the farmer met up with Lloyd.
Farmer: “What happened with that dead donkey?”
Lloyd: “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.”
Farmer: “Didn’t anyone complain?”
Lloyd: “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”
Lloyd grew up and eventually became CEO of Goldman Sachs!
“““““
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can’t help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, ”You know, I’m not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! But I have a question, why is your head so small?”
The big guy nods slowly. He’s obviously fielded this question many times. ”One day,” he begins, ”I was hunting and got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help. I followed the cries and they led me to a frog that was sitting next to a stream.”
”No sh*t?” says the bartender, thoroughly intrigued.
”Yeah, so I picked up the frog and it said, Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you three wishes.”’
”Keep going!”
I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
She said, ”You now have three wishes.”
I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, ”I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger.” She nodded, snapped her fingers, and POOF there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!
She then asked, ”What will be your second wish?”
”What next?” begged the bartender.
I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, ”I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream.” She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. We made love right there by that stream for hours!
Afterwards, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, ”You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?”
I looked at her and replied, ”How ’bout a little head?”
——-
Transvestite Dating at TrannyMatch.com