Dugly walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. Dugly says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”

“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $9.40 please,” and Dugly reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, Dugly and the ostrich come again and he says, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke.” The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”

Again he reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until, the two enter again.

“The usual?” asks the waitress. “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad,” says Dugly. “Same,” says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.” Once again he pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says Dugly, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says Dugly.

The waitress asks, “But, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”

Dugly sighs, pauses, and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.”

“““““

Check out 007pills.com for Cialis, Propecia and more! Visit the Web Pharmacy.

Little Johnny comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help.

“Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?”

His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, “I’ll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Johnny Depp for a million dollars. Then go ask you sister if she would sleep with Taylor Lautner for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you have learned.”

Little Johnny is puzzled but decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, “Mom, if someone would give you a million dollars, would you sleep with Johnny Depp?”

His mother looks around shyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, “Don’t tell your father, but yes, I would.”

Then he goes to his sister’s room and asks her, “Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Taylor Lautner?”

His sister looks up and says, “Omigod! Definitely!”

Little Johnny goes back to his father who asks, “Well, what did you learn?”

Little Johnny says, “Dad, I think I’ve figured it out. POTENTIALLY, we’re sitting on two million bucks, but in REALITY, we’re living with a couple of whores.”

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

It was spring in the old west.

The cowboys rode the still snow choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter.

As one cowboy’s horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake.

“Hold on there, partner,” said the snake, “don’t shoot- I’m an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don’t shoot me, I’ll give you any three wishes you want.”

The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of the snake’s striking range. He said, “OK, first, I’d like to have a face like Brad Pitt, then, I’d like a build like Ryan Reynolds, and finally, I’d like sexual equipment like this here horse I’m riding.”

The rattlesnake said, “All right, when you get back to the bunk house you’ll have all three wishes.”

The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror.

Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Brad Pitt.

He ripped the shirt off his back and revealed a 6-Pack, just like Ryan Reynolds. Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted…

“Oh My God… I was riding the MARE!

“““““

Check out 007pills.com for Cialis, Propecia and more! Visit the Web Pharmacy.

A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”

The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”

The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.”

“All right. How long do you need them?”

The customer paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check.”

After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”

“““““

Blonde Dating at BlondeDating.com !