Joke of the Day: Little Johnny on Salesmanship

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.” “Very good,” said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next: “I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.” “Very good, Jenny,” said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk.

“$2,467”, he said.

“$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”

“Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny.

“Toothbrushes,” echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”

“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny, “I set up a Dip & Chip stand I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like sh*t!” Then I would say, “It is sh*t. Wanna buy a toothbrush?”

“““““

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Joke of the Day: Gastroenterologist Comments

A gastroenterologist claims these are actual comments made by his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

“Take it easy, Doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before.”

“Find Amelia Earhart yet?”

“Can you hear me NOW?”

“Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!”

“Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?”

“You know, in some states, we’re now legally married.”

“Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”

“You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out.. You do the Hokey Pokey….”

“Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”

“If your hand doesn’t fit, you must aquit!”

“Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”

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Joke of the Day: At the barber

While the barber is lathering the man up for his shave, the man expresses to the barber how he has a hard time getting a close shave on his cheeks.

The barber replies with a solution and pulls a small wooden ball out of this cabinet drawer. “Place the wooden ball between your cheek and gum on the right side and you will have a close shave on that side.”

The man does this, and the barber shaves the right side of his face.

“Wow,” exclaims the man, “that is great!” He puts the ball on the left side of his mouth, and with muffled voice asks, “Wht happons if I akkidentally swawo du bawll?”

The barber says, “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else.

“””””

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