Joke of the Day: 6th grade question
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Joke of the Day: 6th grade question

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Keller, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until little Wendy stood up, angry, and said, “You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”

With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down. Mrs. Keller ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”

Little Wendy’s mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!”

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?” Finally, Tommy stood up, looked around nervously and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”

Mrs. Keller said, “Very good, Tommy,” then turned to Wendy and continued. “As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: Number 1: You have a dirty mind; Number 2: You didn’t read your homework; and Number 3: One day you are going to be very, very disappointed.

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Joke of the Day: IRS Genie
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Joke of the Day: IRS Genie

A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel dies of thirst. He’s crawling through the sands,certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case.

He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. He is wearing an IRS ID badge and dull gray suit. There’s a calculator in his pocket. He has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

“Well, kid,” says the genie. “You know how it works. You have three wishes.”

“I’m not falling for this.” says the man. “I’m not going to trust an IRS agent.”

“You might as well it looks like your a goner anyway.”

The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.

“OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink.”

***POOF*** The man finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

“OK, kid, what’s your second wish.”

“My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams.”

***POOF*** The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

“OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!”

After thinking for a few minutes, the man says: “I wish that no matter where I go beautiful women will want and need me.”

***POOF*** He is turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story?

If the IRS offers you anything, there’s going to be a string attached.
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Joke of the Day: After the company’s Halloween Party
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Joke of the Day: After the company’s Halloween Party

Joe wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his Flooring Company‘s Halloween Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didnt taste like alcohol at all. He didnt even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Joe had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Joe sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Stacy

He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him. His son is also at the table, eating. Joe asks, Son…. what happened last night?

Well, you came home after three in the morning, drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you threw-up all over the wood floors, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?

His son replies, Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,Leave me alone, Im married!

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Broward Hardwood Flooring Company at VistaVerdeFloors.com

Joke of the Day: after a hard day’s work
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Joke of the Day: after a hard day’s work

Joe and Steve had a hard day’s work installing wood floors. They like to relax after work and got out to a bar for a drink a few times a week. After getting a nice buzz Joe turns to Steve and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!”

Steve looks at him and says, “Well, you’re obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife’s butt and say, ‘How about a BJ?’ ….and she’s always sound asleep.”

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