Month: January 2013

There was a blonde convention in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania last year, the purpose of which was to convince the world that blondes really aren’t dumb. An expert was hired to come in and ask test questions. One blonde was selected to answer the questions.

The expert asked “What is 7 plus 3?” The blonde ponders for a moment, then says “21?”. The crowd screams “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!”

So the expert asks “What is 4 times 3?” The blonde ponders some more and says “7?”. Again the crowd screams “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!”

So the expert says, “Last question! What is two plus two?”

After long and careful deliberation, the blonde says “four?”

“Give her another chance! Give her another chance!”

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The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of his body.

The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a grisly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, “from the tip of my weenie to my
testicles.”

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to “drop ’em,” which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief’s weenie and began to work back.

Oh Man!” he suddenly exclaimed, “Where are your testicles?”

The old Chief calmly replied… “Vietnam.”

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